On Wings of Eagles

that I was so nervous that I forgot my wallet. On this day 20 years ago I embarked on the greatest adventure in my life, and I forgot my wallet.  How lame is that?  Birdie came through though and we were able to do pull off the wackiest thing anybody in her office ever did on their lunch hour.  I am glad she did, because I have been married to the most wonderful woman in the world for the last 20 years.  I would not trade one moment of that time for all the world.  I am most privileged to be her husband and I look forward to another 20 or 30 or 40 years with her.

Happy 20th Anniversary My Love

When pounding out studs in aluminum sheet metal do not place your fingers where missing the stud causes damage and the desire to spit invectives of a most unsavory kind.

Just sayin…

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luke 2:1-14

Writing has been difficult for me of late. I wish I could point to a simple reason of why, but it is never simple.  I seem to do better when I have a topic to write on, such as Eric’s question on the resurrection.  In fact I thrive on it. But sitting down and simply coming up with a topic has been hard. I am probably whining, but I had to get it off of my chest.  It seems this year has been one of blow after blow after blow.  Hard to get up and stagger around after all of it.  It started with the ministry.  Things were going well, the concepts and ideas, kept pouring in.  To say the least I was on fire.  Then things fell apart around me.  The thing is I am not sure how much of it was my own hubris, the enemy’s interference, or Jehovah simply kicking me in the rear to get my act together.  I suspect the latter is what is going on right now.

You see a year ago I was CERTAIN of the direction of the ministry, who was going to be involved, what was going to happen, and how.  Hubris on my part, I had it all planned out, forgetting that it was not about me.  I think that is when I allowed my judgment to be clouded about who I wanted to help.  I reached out to people I thought I knew, and learned how much I did not know.  In retrospect I think it was a lesson well learned. It has also shown me that just because I am called as a prophet does not mean that I am not subject to my own whims and desires, then attributing them to His plans.

Pride is an interesting sin.  I don’t mean that in a good way either. Pride can make you think that you are not proud at all.  The most humble of servants, the deception of your own heart.  Usually you don’t catch it until it all falls down around you, as it did to me.  You see I think I took a certain amount of pride in my calling, that somehow I was better than others because of the nature of my calling.  Called to be on the outside of the “leadership” calling that same leadership to a higher more pure relationship with Yeshua.  After running, I kind of took a certain pride even in the reluctant nature of my acceptance. Pride to some extent even formed Eagle’s Wings.  It was out of hurt, frustration, pride in my calling as a prophet, after getting my teeth kicked in by a more “establishment” ministry that I believed (and still do) could use someone of my talents and calling, I formed the concept for Eagles Wings.  Pride said I would show them just how valuable I am, and could have been for their organization. Pride then fooled me into believing I was hearing from Jehovah about whom was to be involved in Eagle’s Wings.  That is when I really got my first dose of reality.  The enemy took my pride and twisted it to make me doubt everything about my calling. Jehovah has been, interestingly enough, using that defeat to wring out who He wanted all along. This has been done mostly through His favorite foil with me, my lovely wife, Birdie.

What is going to happen with Eagle’s Wings, I am not sure, but I am sure it will not die.  Just because I did something in pride does not mean He cannot or will not use it for His will.  I have a long way to go, but I am surrendering to His will, His desires for this ministry.  Al I ask are your prayers for me and my family, while I allow Yeshua to open my heart and show me what He wants me to do.

That is how many years ago Birdie and I made the commitment to join our individual lives into one for the rest of our lives. It is funny but we had everything against us succeeding in this adventure. Short romance ( 6 months? ), we eloped on our lunch hour, we were young, idealistic, and you name it we were statistically the wrong people to get married. So how did we defy the odds? We had the things that other couples in our boat often do not have. The biggest is our faith in the Holy One of Israel. We also have a strong determination ( a stubbornness if you will ) to make it work. Giving up was never an option. Our commitment is just that a commitment, it was not made lightly (even if it was quick), we realized early on that we had mutual goals in life, family, and faith. It is not that we have not had our share of problems over the years. We have faced a slew of them not the least of which is losing two children. Many couple have folded under the kind of pressure we have faced, yet here we are still committed to each other. I can say today that I am more in love with this woman than the day we got married.

 I love you Birdie and I know this is just the beginning of our adventure and pray that we will have decades to come to share our love for each other.

Happy Anniversary My Love

Luke sent me a link to the blog of one of the regular commenters over a Vox’s. This is a person who has found himself on true hard times and is as of his last post homeless.  He has chronicled some of the difficulties of being homeless and the lack of charity found in some charities geared towards “helping” those in need. I am simply flabbergasted. While I should not be surprised, (I know the depravity of man’s heart) I am to see a “Christian” ministry run this way.  Unfortunately JQP’s last post was July 27th, so I am not sure what we can do, but it gives a glimpse into the shady side of charities.

The Mission as seen from the eyes of one who is on the receiving end of the "low man on the totem pole" treatment gives me a greater insight into where not to go.  Some of the basic fundamental needs are not being met, and is unacceptable especially if this place is making the kind of money JQP claims they are making. The refusal to allow those who are willing among those being helped to work to alleviate the problems is unacceptable, but this is not the reason for this post. I was just venting a little due to my past experience of being on the receiving end of charity that did not meet our needs. I have some problems with this “feel good” kind of charity.  It gives the illusion of help (with the ability to sooth ones conscience) while the recipient drowns.  

Eagles Wings Family Ministries will not be a “feel good” ministry.  While it is still in concept, it is time I take it beyond that concept. Ultimately I have a vision for a place that families in dire need can go to get their lives back in order, but that is the culmination of effort, not the focus. The focus is helping families in their time of need, meeting those needs in full, and I am talking all needs from physical to spiritual. The goal is to help people learn to fly with the wing’s Jehovah gave them. Birdie and Jimmy are right it is time to start doing.  I have let this episode rule the day and in the end nobody wins.  While I wallow in my self-pity and doubt, I forget that I was called and that has not gone away.  I was called to meet people where they are and introduce them to their creator on an individual basis. I forget that Yeshua called me to teach people how to fly.  How am I going to do that if I am stuck on the ground because I have limited my vision to the point that I have lost sight of the One who taught me that I have wings?

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Update on JQP: Well I at least know where JQP is staying now. Not sure about the true nature of his  SAFETY now (see NO Way This Ends Well), but then if he loses an appendage it is his own fault.